mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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