i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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