Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
