Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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