didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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