Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
