She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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