alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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