oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
