we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
