I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
