Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
