I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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