the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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