I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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