Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
