I hate all girls vehemently.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
