Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.