Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  If i could tip my vagina, i would.

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  (616): If i could tip my vagina, i would. http://tfl.nu/vria
  Replies (7) Good night (3417) Bad night (508)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit

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  (214): And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit http://tfl.nu/wkai
  Replies (55) Good night (3035) Bad night (1441)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.

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  (401): Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself. http://tfl.nu/v546
  Replies (27) Good night (664) Bad night (3759)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues

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  (917): you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues http://tfl.nu/bwbh
  Replies (7) Good night (4645) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk

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  (904): It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk http://tfl.nu/fnmq
  Replies (4) Good night (3042) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.

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  (435): I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs. http://tfl.nu/z5mq
  Replies (13) Good night (2678) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.

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  (713): His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life. http://tfl.nu/34re
  Replies (12) Good night (3629) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.

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  (414): I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants. http://tfl.nu/xbe1
  Replies (6) Good night (1376) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days

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  (410): You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days http://tfl.nu/jiwq
  Replies (4) Good night (561) Bad night (1410)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.

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  (360): She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake. http://tfl.nu/n9ny
  Replies (7) Good night (448) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.

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  (513): These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours. http://tfl.nu/mjj7
  Replies (2) Good night (942) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.

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  (925): I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m. http://tfl.nu/avly
  Replies (1) Good night (955) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?

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  (360): I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years? http://tfl.nu/xhbr
  Replies (3) Good night (1322) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.

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  (306): Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3yus
  Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now

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  (779): Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now http://tfl.nu/zs7j
  Replies (1) Good night (254) Bad night (454)

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