It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.