problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.