im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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