Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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