just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize