): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize