You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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