You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
