That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
