I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
