this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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