I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
