Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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