She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
