are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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