Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
