paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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