I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
