Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
