dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
