we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
