I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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