she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
