I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
