omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i now understand why vodka
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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