i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Randomize
