She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
