We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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