So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
