You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
