my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
