Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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