I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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