She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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