her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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