i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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