i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
