i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
