i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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