dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
