I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
