After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
