I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
