im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
