haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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