3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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