I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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