I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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