dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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