it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
