I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
