Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
