I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
my poor anus
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