my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
