i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
